I’m sure by now most of us have had the unfortunate opportunity to watch, hear or read that Wood Allen received the Cecil B DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award during the Golden Globes… Now that any of us who are married to a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, or who have family or friends that are survivors, have finally stopped vomiting, our disgust & disbelief is now during to anger…
So here are my rambling thoughts…
What were they thinking? To award a known pedophile with such a very public award like this?
I am reminded of the analogy of baking brownies with a little dog poop. It doesn’t matter how much sweet, wonderful, amazing chocolate, fudge, and/or caramel that is in the batter, if you put even one little drop of dog poop in it, no one would eat them!
Regardless of whatever good this freak may have done over his decades of acting and film-making… Regardless of the movie laughs and seemingly enjoyable moments that he may have created for millions of movie goers, it pales in comparison to the devastation to just one victim of CSA and we all know that there are probably many others!
I’m not saying that a human being can’t repent, make amends, and sin no more… but I think that true psychological rehabilitation can only be handled after decades of intense therapy, if ever! We have seen nothing but denial from this person… in fact, by Allen’s own admission Allen spent over 37 years undergoing psychoanalysis. Many of his films include references to psychoanalysis. Even the film Antz, an animated feature in which Allen contributes the voice of lead character Z, opens with classic Allen analysis shtick.
Moment Magazine ("Moment Mag". Archived from the original on March 11, 2007. Retrieved January 17, 2008. ) says, "It drove his self-absorbed work." John Baxter, author of Woody Allen: A Biography, wrote, "Allen obviously found analysis stimulating, even exciting."
Biskind, Peter (December 2005). "Reconstructing Woody". Vanity Fair. Retrieved March 9, 2010. Allen says his psychoanalysis ended around the time he began his relationship with Previn. He says he still is claustrophobic andagoraphobic.
He clearly still needs more help….and as I highlight later, he still denies any abuse…
To give him a “lifetime achievement” award is a slap in the face to millions of survivors of sexual abuse and only causes further trauma to his victims.
So he clearly “prefers” teen aged partners. In fact, his first marriage was to a minor. He was 19 when he married Harlene Rosen, who was only 16 at the time. It quickly ended. Probably after Rosen matured and was able to escape his perverted mind games. After several other failed relationships, he eventually perfected his deviant craft and married his “adopted step-daughter” Soon-Yi Previn when she was 19 and he was 56! He was clearly involved with her even before the relationship (I really mean “abuse”) came to light in 1991. [We will get to his other degenerate “family” activities which were occurring around the same time further in the blog.]
For a moment, ponder the tremendous cult like manipulation and torment that must be at play in this depraved “marriage” situation. For him to begin abusing Soon-Yi at some unknown young age and to still have that hold over her as an adult? I feel so sorry for her…But it speaks to the powerfully unhealthy brainwashing that accompanies this sort of incestuous relationship
He gives a strange quote that I thought was very telling… according to the Wikipedia bio at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woody_Allen, when he was asked whether their age difference was conducive to “a healthy, equal relationship”, Allen said equality is not necessarily a requirement in a relationship, the heart wants what it wants. There’s no logic to these things…
Being a partner of a survivor, I cannot share with you how sick those words sound… sure, to a more equal relationship between two mentally healthy consenting adults, I don’t have a problem with it. In fact, his words sound a bit chivalrous and self-sacrificing. But when it involves a 56 year old sexual predator and a 19 year old who was rescued from untold abuses as a child from her Korean homeland via adoption by his then girlfriend Mia Farrow, it spells disaster. His relationship with Mia Farrow was on the rocks and in the news… In fact, according to http://jezebel.com/5861808/woody-allens-scandalous-affair-with-soon+yi-took-a-little-edge-off-his-natural-blandness, as the story broke and Mia Farrow ended her 12 year relationship with him, she discovered nude photos that he had taken of Soon-Yi earlier. Her other adopted daughter, Dylan, made accusations that Allen was touching her inappropriately. He would soon to be exposed… he needed a cover story, so I’m sure after the years of grooming and testing, he thought Soon-Yi was ripe for the picking at 19.
[Editing notes: For this portion of the blog, the news articles are now portrayed in bold and my comments are in brackets]
According to the October Vanity Fair article at http://www.vanityfair.com/online/daily/2013/10/mia-farrow-children-family-scandal, special correspondent Maureen Orth speaks to Farrow’s children, including Dylan, who now has another name and who discusses what she remembers about Allen and how his behavior has tormented her. She refuses ever to say his name. She calls her fears “crippling” and says, “I’m scared of him, his image.” Dylan tells Orth, “I have never been asked to testify. If I could talk to the seven-year-old Dylan, I would tell her to be brave, to testify.”
[How many of us partners witness this same reaction from the survivors in our lives?]
The article continues…
According to Dylan, “There’s a lot I don’t remember, but what happened in the attic I remember. I remember what I was wearing and what I wasn’t wearing.” She tells Orth, “The things making me uncomfortable were making me think I was a bad kid, because I didn’t want to do what my elder told me to do.” The attic, she says, pushed her over the edge. “I was cracking. I had to say something. I was seven. I was doing it because I was scared. I wanted it to stop.” For all she knew, she tells Orth, “this was how fathers treated their daughters. This was normal interaction, and I was not normal for feeling uncomfortable about it.” Woody Allen’s lawyer Elkan Abramowitz says that Allen still denies the allegations of sexual abuse.
[Again, this is classic of abuse… certain details are as vivid and fresh and if it happened yesterday, but some details are possibly lost forever, just to overwhelming brutal for the little child’s mind to comprehend and process! How many of our survivors are still seeking a real father figure in their lives? How many are still seeking true love and acceptance of a man, but have no clue how to get it. Unfortunately some turn to drugs, alcohol or promiscuity just to numb the pain of a lost fatherhood… Of course Allen still denies the allegations… to him it wasn’t abuse… in his sick mind he “loved” his victim, by this point he has rationalized his twisted desires as normal interaction… Sadly, he convince Soon-Yi of this… but thankfully for Dylan, the grooming process wasn’t complete and she was brave enough to tell her story!]
Dylan tells Orth that Allen contacted her twice by mail. The second time, during her senior year of college, a large stuffed manila envelope arrived at the school, filled with pictures of Allen with Dylan. “I should have recognized the handwriting—I didn’t. It had a fake return name: Lehman.” According to her, the accompanying letter read, “I thought you’d want some pictures of us, and I want you to know that I still think of you as my daughter, and my daughters think of you as their sister. Soon-Yi misses you.” It was signed “Your father.” Dylan wonders to Orth, “How do your daughters think of me as their sister? How does that work?” When asked about the letters, Sheila Riesel, another of Allen’s attorneys, called it a “private matter,” adding, “This is a man who loves all of his children and should be respected for that.”
[We too have experienced the perpetrators who maintain “trophies” or other evidence to convince every one of the “good ole” days and they really were just a normal happy family. In my mind, this was a sick attempt to minimize Dylan’s feeling and pain. Also see the free article that I have posted in the catalog regarding “Good Parent – Bad Parent” detailing how the mind of the victim can begin to separate the 2 personalities of the abusing parent. A polarizing dichotomy is scared into the mind of the impressionable child and they spend a lifetime trying to reconcile those 2 opposing images in their heads. Tragically even more damage is done when the other passive parent plays into this demonic mind game and tells the child, “He was a good man” “He really didn’t mean to hurt you” “Can’t you remember the good times?” “Remember how he bought you that Christmas present?” etc.]
[Sorrowfully, the article goes on to share how this has affected the rest of the family…]
Farrow’s son Fletcher Previn, who built his first computer at the age of 13, tells Orth that he has Photoshopped Allen out of every single family photo and edited him out of family videos so that none of them would ever have to see him again. “We can look at them and be reminded of the good and not be reminded of the bad,”
[Being familiar with photo editing, my heart really broke when I read this part. Can you imagine staring at a photo for hours, trying to eliminate each pixel? It must have been like a surgeon removing a tumor from a brain without killing the patient. To do this for his family, the passion, devotion and love must have been monumental. The endurance of spending hours working on each photo with that monster must have been epic!]
Fletcher tells Orth. Of the family’s reaction to the crisis with Soon-Yi, Fletcher says, “To my siblings and me, you thought of [Allen] as another dad. It can disrupt your foundation in the world. It resets the parameters of what is possible.” He also discusses the impact Allen’s actions had on the family, telling Orth, “There were casualties, who were totally derailed. It had a different impact on everyone, but everyone had a reaction.” Fletcher singles out Lark, who died at 35. “I really do think he’s got some blood on his hands,” he says of Allen.
[“Disrupts your foundation in the world” WOW! I think he summed it up right there…]